The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

by | Mar 4, 2024 | Arts & Entertainment, Celebrities | 0 comments

I’ve long bokeh been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

bokep When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for bokeh caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, bokep she rolled her eyes and porn declared the woman an ‘actrice’, crot or memek sex worker.

Now, crot according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, crot it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and memek all men dread – the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokeh the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other porn words, porn you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: bokep there’s bokep sex as performance art, memek and porn sex bokep as genuine intimacy. And memek when a woman is genuinely memek aroused, bokeh trusts her partner and porn is not fearing for bokep a fragile male ego, crot she’s far more likely to gently memek sigh and porn moan than shriek like the rabid porn super-vixen in bokep my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, bokep female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally crot on an bokeh occasional basis, memek they’d crot explain, bokep so they could make their partner feel happy, bokep while conserving their energy bokeh for bokeh other tasks in hand. This porn was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that memek erotic decibels were all about manners and bokeh ‘manipulation’, memek and porn that bokeh women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, bokeh so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of bokeh ecstasy, bokeh the crot greater crot the chance the bokep orgasm is being crot faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: crot ‘I’m enjoying bokep this, memek but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound crot familiar, porn ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena porn is if your sex education comes from porn, porn where loud always equals better.

As crot a woman from Sunderland crot said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her memek sexual yowling drowned out crot their TVs: crot porn ‘As far as I’m concerned, bokeh that’s what you bokeh should be doing.’

Well, crot only crot if you want to attract a certain kind of bokeh attention.

In their book, bokeh Sex At Dawn, bokeh Christopher Ryan and memek memek Cacilda Jetha concluded bokep the most likely reason women bokep were noisy during sex – memek based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and memek keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, crot I can understand bokep the need to advertise. But if you’re not, memek bokep then men should take heed: bokep the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris

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